2018, you were…. well you were real that’s for sure!
If you’re feeling a little bleh after seeing everyone recap their year and feeling a little less for not living up to the epicness that was twenty-eighteen, well babe, you’re not alone.
The number of girls and guys who opened up to me and told me they were ‘disappointed’ with their year, or were ‘so fucking glad it’s over’ was outstanding.
Yet I could relate 2 billion percent.
I set out some big goals for myself this year.
I wrote them down, again and again.
I revisited them, analysed them, and tried my hardest to tackle them.
I was public about them.
Yet most of them I didn’t achieve.
2018 was a doozy for me.
It was a real eye opener for me, both emotionally and physically.
There were some real epic highs, but there were also real epic lows.
I started working fulltime; I then quit that job.
I was offered incredible support from Lululemon; yet I was having episodes of crippling anxiety I struggled to see the light in the work I was doing.
I was focusing on working on myself, more compassion and being kinder to myself and others; yet I was consumed with self doubt, comparisons that self compassion felt forced and fake.
Friendships flourished and yet some fizzled; I was faced with social exclusion & bullying (yes, just like at school) and I felt alone.
I was physically fit, smashed PBs in the gym and ran my fastest half marathon; yet financially fit is another story.
I prioritised my health; Then discovered I was diagnosed with PCOS.
My typical NYs resolutions for 2018 were somewhat things looming over my head putting added pressure to my days, weeks, months. They were a constant voice in the back of my mind telling me to ‘get your shit together’ and each time I didn’t, they were a constant reminder that I was failing.
So!! Having said that, 2019 is the year of…
It’s the year of giving far less fucks about perfection, and far more fucks about progress.
Am I a kinder person today? Kinder to myself and to others?
Did I chip away at things to help The HIIT Project? Did I reach out to those tribe members/did I blog/am I enjoying the process?
Am I doing the ‘things’ for something bigger than myself?
How am I contributing to society? Heck, am I contributing to society?
Am I trying new things and having a laugh at being perfectly bad at them?
But also, who the hell cares if I don’t ‘stick’ to all of these?
I am hoping for the best, striving to do good, but also caring a little less if I am not this outstandingly good individual.
This is starting to hold far more substance than that quantitative bullshit we tell ourselves is important to see the ‘measurable’ of our successes.
Now, if your goal is to just have a good year, then I’m with ya.
If it’s to be bring in X for business A, or find a lover who exhibits B, to travel to X,Y & Z, or lose Y before C, then I’ll support that.
But I won’t do it with you.
Thanks for listening babes,